Lately, on a few blogs I read, the comment has been made that people only blog about the good things in life, leaving the impression that their life is perfect. Ive thought about this alot. I am happy with my life.... it has turned out mostly to be what I wanted it to be.... I am blessed with to be married to my best friend & we have 4 beautiful kids. I live in a peaceful community surrounded by close friends. I can say my sister, although we are different as night is to day, is one of my best friends. But although I am happy with life, it doesn't mean it's perfect. If I would have started blogging last August when Stephen started nursing school, it would have been painfully apparent that my life was anything but perfect.
It was a bold, radical move for Stephen to go back to school. At the time we made the decision, he was working 60 hours a week and in the bishopric. His time already seemed stretched to the limits, I didn't know how it was possible to fit anything else in. I suggested to Stephen that he tell the Bishop of his school plans & ask for a release. He said it wasn't neccesary. He knew the decision to go to school was right & the Lord would bless him to meet all his obligations. I didn't have as much faith, so I put my trust in his faith. A week before school started, the Bishop called him in & issued a new call... ward mission leader. And for the next month, he was ward mission leader AND in the bishopric. The week that school started, he cut back on his hours at work from 60 a week to 48 a week. We had tried to prepare as best as we could by putting money in savings, but the cut in hours also meant a cut in wages & our budget was cut by $900 a month. I truly did not know how we were going to do it all. During much of Stephen's first year, we both felt overwhelmed, stressed & far too busy to think straight.
But, to keep our family strong & functioning, we had to focus on the truly important things in life. We first decided that above every thing else we were doing, we were committed to putting the Lord & our family first. Since starting school, Stephen has been in the bishopric, ward mission leader, & now in the Young Men's presidency. All of these callings have been more of a blessing than an obligation. Nursing school is set up to monopolize 100% of a student's life. These callings have given Stephen balance, which has made him a better husband, father, & student. It has also shown me how capable I am of handling life while he is busy & has required the kids to learn to pitch in & work together. It wasn't easy, there were countless Sunday mornings where I thought I'd rather have the flu rather than get kids ready for Church on time. But as time went by, it got easier.
We also set the kids down & told them about the family budget cuts & what it would mean to them. Stephen & I watched every penny & breathed a sigh of relief at the end of the month that all the bills were paid. It was hard & there were times we had to use our credit card, but we made it through.
Stephen was under enormous pressure the entire year.... the nursing program repeatedly told him he give them 100% to succeed. He knew he couldn't. He couldn't sacrifice our marriage, our kids, or his standing with the Lord. He also remained committed to our decision to keep me out of the workforce & fulltime mom to the kids. He worried constantly about his grades & I worried just as much about all the stress he was under. Life was hard & far from perfect.
But, we did make it through. Stephen not only survived his first year, but excelled academically. In April he took a test that predicts the chance of passing boards. He scored in the 99th percentile. He earned high grades in his classes. And most importantly, our marriage grew stronger, the kids never felt neglected, & he has continued to serve in his callings.
This year is SO much busy. Stephen is still busy, we are still paying off debt from the 1st year, the kids still keep us busy. But neither one of us feels nearly as overwhelmed as we did this time last year. We have grown through this hard experience, & because life was less than perfect for a season, we are happier now than we have ever been. Not only does Stephen make more money, but he works less hours than he has ever worked in our married life AND he loves his job. That makes everything we went through last year totally worth it!
So, our life is definitely not perfect, but it is very happy!
2 comments:
Mel-what a great attitude you both have! Your kids will thrive from such a great example for parents...I know that the hardest times are the ones that we learn the most from, but sometimes it is the most difficult to put our faith in the Lord that He will pull us through. Thanks for the reminder:)
Melody, That was such a great post. You and your husband are so neat. My husband is the bishop in our ward, and I can't tell you how many times we have been blessed for his service. I feel that service is kind of like tithing. If you give of your time to the Lord first, he will always provide you with plenty of time to do the other things that you need to do. It sounds like you have experienced that in your life too. I'm so glad to be in touch with you. You are awesome!
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