A lot of thoughts

Although Stephen & I voted for the same presidential candidate, we had completely different opinions on who would win the election. Since last night, I have heard about how far American has come to elect the first black president. I couldn't help but think how far I have come too. Politics never used to interest me much. But I married a man who is very passionate about politics, and very Republican. He loves discussing politics. And in the very beginning of our marriage, we weren't very compatible in this regard. I think mostly because I was a young mother just trying to keep up with the demands of caring for small children. I didn't have enough brain cells left to think of anything more complicated than trying to cooridinate nap time with quiet time so I could get something done each day. So when Stephen talked politics, I just listened to him politely & nodded at appropriate times. I tolerated listening to Rush Limbach and Shawn Hannity. When election time came around, I asked him what he thought, and then voted.
About 4-6 years ago, I realized how incompatible we really were when it came to politics and how incredibly boring it must be for him to talk to a wife who really had no opinion of her own. So I started to educate myself, form opinions, and now discussing politics is one of our favorite past times. Though we agree on a lot of issues, it is fun when we disagree too. So, when I told Stephen months ago that Obama was going to win, the stage was already set, & McCain totally biffed it when he chose Sarah Pallin as his running mate, he vehemetly disagreed. So, to make it interesting, we made a deal. After the election, we would go out to dinner. If Obama won, I could choose the resturant. If McCain won, it was his chose. I really was hoping Stephen would be choosing some cute little place that specializes in hot, spicy food (we will never be compatible when it comes to spicy food). But since Obama did win, I am seriously debating between seafood or mexican cuisine..... I have two days to think it over. And this choice seems harder to make than who to vote for president.

Another topic that occupies 90% of my thought process is raising my children. Lately, the subject of helping my girls develop healthy self esteem has been on the fore front. It seems that around 4th grade, both Emily & Kaitlyn started to struggle. They both have different issues & I won't discuss them here, because they are private & personal to them. But I will share my thoughts. It seems both girls are their own worse critics, and to me, their perceptions of certain things about themselves are distorted. But I have wondered, is that my own motherly bias clouding my perception of their perception? After all, I do see both Em & Kait as strong, beautiful, talented, capable..... you get the point. I have mulled over this for weeks, & on Monday, I was given a sliver of inspiration.

I joined facebook in August after doing an internet search for an old high school friend who recently wrote a book. The search pulled her up on Facebook. I went & checked it out & discovered that a whole group of people I hung around in high school was linked up there. Curious as to how their lives had turned out, I joined. Over the past few months, we have chatted back & forth & it has been fun to renew those associations. Recently, a few of us have posted pictures of "the good ole days" of high school. It has been interesting to me to read comments that my friends have posted about themselves. One friend commented how fat she felt on high school. Funny, I never thought of her as fat. I always admired how athletic she was & wished I could play volleyball as well as she did. Another wrote on her blog how she felt like others thought she was mean & no one liked her. I always felt a tiny bit envious of how popilar I thought she was, and wished I could make friends as easily as she did. We all laughed at our 90's hairstyles. But I can distinctly remember wishing I could get my bangs as high as Tricias. And I also remember feeling like a shy, awkward, pretzel stick that no one noticed in high school. So you can imagine my complete shock everytime someone from high school emails me to say how they admired me back then. Especially people I was just sure didn't know I existed.

So what I have learned is the girl's perceptions ARE distorted, just as mine & all the other girls I grew up with were. This is a part of the growing process. And it is likely, they will struggle until they reach adulthood to finally be able to say, I like who I am. Just as I did around the age of 25. I think as parents, we are doing a good thing by providing opportunities such as gymnastics & choir, where they have talent & feel successgul. It has helped their self esteem. But what I have realized is that more than needing a good self esteem, my girls need a solid sense of self worth. They need to know that they are precious daughters of a Heavenly Father, that loves them very much. That He created them for a specific purpose. That by having faith in Him, & through applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ, they can overcome the things that they percieve as weakness and become the strong, capable, beautiful, talented daughters of God that they truly are.

Holy moly, this is a HUGE thing to teach these girls. I am so greatful to have the Gospel to teach my girls these principal. But man, I have a lot of studying to do.