Answers To Life's Tough Questions

Happily, I am able to report that my sciatic nerve has completely healed & I am back to doing 95% of what I want/ need to do, & I am able to exercise a little more each day & feel like I am getting stronger! It is still hard to sit in the car or van for more than 15 minutes, and church benches make me stiff & sore. I don't know why, but I am grateful for soft couches in the foyer!
This has been a tough trial for me. I knew I wouldn't be miracoulsy healed in a day or two. I knew I would have many things to learn from it, & I needed the time that it would take to heal from to learn what I was suppose to. Not being able to do anything for 3 weeks gives a person a lot of time to think!
I think a major thing I learned is that although I can't always control what happens to my body physically, I can control what happens to me emotionally & spiritually. There were so many days that the struggle to just walk from my bed to my chair was so hard that it drained me emotionally. The kids were upset & worried, yet I couldn't do anything to make it better instantly. Constant physical pain has a way of wearing me down emotionally. On one particularly hard day, it took every ounce of emotional & physical strength to get the kids off to school. Once they were gone, I crawled into bed & cried in self pity for an hour. Them, I realized I couldn't do it alone. So I opened up the scriptures, & read about the Atonement until I found peace. I learned that Christ knew how I felt, because he had already suffered for me in the Garden of Gethsemane. Because he had suffered... he knew how to succor me... if I would let him. Then I read in 2nd Nephi that the Lord would concencrate our burdens for our good. I really felt the power & truth of the Atonement. So everytime I felt discouraged or depressed (which was alot), I prayed to feel the love of the Savior & for courage & help to withstand the temptation of becoming depressed. It was hard, but I was able to stay emotionally at peace, & feelings of depression only lasted brief moments. I have learned to place my burdens on the Lord, to allow him to succor me, & to choose peace over depression.
Another thing I have learned is empathy for those who suffer with Chronic pain. As you all know, I have mild Cerebral Palsy. My attitude has always been to push a little harder to overcome obstacles. I am ashamed to admit that I haven't understood why some who have chronic health problems don't do the same. I realize now it isn't always possible, or wise. Had I taken the time to heal when I first pulled a muscle in Feburary, I might not have pinched a nerve. Very humbling realization.
I also realized how important it is to let other people help me. I tried to walk a mile a day to attempt to get over the pulled muscles, which led to the pinched nerve. After I had healed enough to start walking for exercise, I was very frightened. I still had pain, but in order to get stronger, I needed to start walking. But the fear was to strong. Last Monday, my neighbor Janae called & asked if I was getting better & if I wanted to try walking. I told her yes, but I was afraid. She came over & we went walking around the block. It wore me out, but I felt better and each day was a little better. I am grateful for her support & friendship.